


That Fic Where Kanaya Is In Love With One Of Gamzee's Clubs

by Zivlok



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - WTF, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-02-10
Updated: 2012-02-10
Packaged: 2017-10-30 18:31:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/334799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zivlok/pseuds/Zivlok
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So What Do You Like To Do For Fun</p><p>Well, I'm very dedicated to my job, you know, but every now and then I like to go...<br/>clubbing.</p><p>...I See.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Fic Where Kanaya Is In Love With One Of Gamzee's Clubs

This Is A Very Nice Restaurant.

I'm glad you like it! It's one of my favorites.

The Decor Is Lush Yet Still Tasteful.

And how about these pot stickers, eh?

They Are Indeed Quite Tasty.  The Stuffed Grape Leaves Are Also High In Flavor.

Heh.  Sounds like my owner.

Excuse Me?

Oh, just a little joke.  Like, see, you said that the leaves were high in flavor.  And my owner is often high.

And High In Flavor.

What was that?

Oh Nothing.

(munch munch)

(Chew Chew)

So, what do you like to do for fun?

You Mean Besides Go Out For Dinner With Ostensibly Inanimate Yet Strangely Charming Objects?

Heh, I'll just take the compliment buried in there, and ignore the rest.

As Well You Should. I Apologize But This Is All A Little Strange For Me. I've Never Gone Out With A Bowling Pin Before.

Hey know, that's discriminatory! I ain't no bowling pin - I'm a motherfucking juggling club, not some namby-pamby pin that exists purely to be knocked down by some asshole spheroid!

I Apologize For Insulting You But Could You Please Tone Down Your Profanities?  Your Language Is Clashing With The Sumptuous Surroundings.

Okay okay, I'm sorry for yelling, but it just really gets on my nerves when people make baseless derogatory assumptions like that.

Again I Did Not Mean To Insult You.

I know babe, I know, and I'm sorry for my outburst.  It's just something I have to deal with on a regular basis, you know?  And I mean, I look nothing at all like a bowling pin! Those assh- er, those jerks are squat and round while _I'm_ pleasingly lanky.

I Must Admit You Are Well-

Erm

Proportioned.

And so are you, babe.  _Love_ the dress, by the way, very classy, yet it doesn't hide your stunning figure.

Oh Um Thank You. I Actually Designed It Myself.

No shit!  Really?

Yes Shit.  Hee Hee.

Ha ha ha ha! That was a good one!  Man, you're beautiful, talented, and got a sense of humour to boot! What are you doing here with a grungy club like me?

Oh Don't Say That I Think You Are Actually Very Handsome.  Your Blue Tie Sets Off Against Your White...

Um...

Skin?

Very Nicely.

Sure babe, you can call it skin if that works for you.  So, going back to my original question, what do you like to do for fun? Design clothes?

Yes I Enjoy Aesthetic Design Very Much And Am Actually Finishing Up Design School Currently.  I Also Like To Read.  But Generally I Just Like Making Things - Clothes Especially - But I Enjoy All Sorts Of Physical Creation And Manifestation.  I've Even Been Known To Partake In Woodworking.

Man, and all I'm good at is being flipped around in the air!

Hee Hee Well You Do Look Very Aerodynamic.

Well, maybe if you play your cards right, later I can show you just how aerodynamic I can be. ;)

...

Well That's A Very Tempting Offer To Be Sure But Oh Look Our Food Is Here.

ALRIGHT, CHOW DOWN FUCKMUNCHES.

FUCKMUNCHERS.

FOODMUNCHERS.

FOODFUCKMUNCHIES.

FUCKERFOODMUNCHES.

OH FUCK YOU AND YOU BETTER FUCKING TIP WELL.

ENJOY YOUR MEAL, GLOBESTIFFLERS.

Damn, our waiter is very...

Colorful?

Yeah... that's a good word for it.  ...Well, shall we dig in?

Lets.

 

______________________________

 

(chew chew chew)

(Munch Munch Munch)

Sorry I haven't been a great conversationalist, but this food is just so damn tasty!

I Concur.  My Linguini With Couscous Is Quite Delicious.  How Is Your Meal?

Oh man, these cajun-shrimp chimichangas topped with curried goulash are delicious.

I Don't Know If I Will Be Able To Have A Dessert After This.

I hear ya.  That mango-baklava-torte sounds very tempting, but...

The Meals Are As Filling As They Are Delicious.

Exactly. So, when are you planning on graduating? Are you gonna try an work in the fashion industry afterwards?

No No We've Talked Far Too Much About Me. I'd Like To Know About You.

Okay, shoot.  Whatchoo wanna know about me?

We Have Thoroughly Canvassed The Subject Of What My Pleasure Activities Are But I Would Like To Know Yours.

Well, I'm not sure I can properly discuss my pleasure activities in such polite company... ;)

You Know What I Meant. What Do You Like To Do For Fun?

Well, I live a very active life, obviously, so most of my leisure time is spent being, well, leisurely - you know, hanging out, watching TV, resting, and lots of sleep.  My day job tires me out like you wouldn't believe.

I Would Imagine So.

Plus my klutz of an owner drops me fairly often, so I need plenty of rest to recuperate.

Does Being Dropped Actually Physically Hurt You?

Well, usually not, but it hurts emotionally, you know?  It's like he doesn't really care.

There There I Am Sure It Is Not Intentional He Is Just A Little Prone To Accident.

Yeah, I guess.  So anyway, that's mostly what I do for fun, but if I'm well-rested and I have a little extra time off, then I like to go... _clubbing_.

(Groan)

 

______________________________

 

That Was An Extremely Pleasant Evening. Thank You.

It was truly my pleasure, Kanaya.  I hope you had fun?

I Did.

So, um, is there a chance that maybe we could, you know, do this again some time?

I Believe There Is A Very Good Chance That Such An Occurence Could Transpire Again.

Oh man, that's really great to hear.  I had a wonderful evening with you.

And I You.  You Are Really Very Sweet.

(Chaste But Warm Peck On The... Cheek?)

(blush... somehow)

I Must Be Off. I Have Class In The Morrow.

Yeah, I should be getting some rest too.

I Will Contact You Next Week If That Is Amenable To Your Schedule?

That sounds great, babe.

Good Night.

See ya!

 

______________________________

 

2o how wa2 your date wiith an iinaniimate object?

That Is Quite Disrespectful But I Will Ignore It.  I Had A Lovely Evening.

you know ii wa2 ju2t pulliing your leg, kan

I Am Aware Of It.

really, iim happy for you. iit'2 about tiime you found someone who de2erve2 you.

I Am Inclined To Agree.

2o, you gonna 2ee that piin-

Club.

what?

Not A Bowling Pin But A Juggling Club.

fiine whatever. you thiink you'll 2ee that club agaiin?

Yes. Yes I Think I Shall.

**Author's Note:**

> And here's Chapter 1 (of four)! I had fun doing this, and this is my first time doing pesterlog formatting, which took a couple tries. Hopefully my process will be more streamlines for the next few chapters. The whole fic probably won't be in this format, partly because I can't tell certain story elements this way, and partly because formatting them pisses me off.
> 
> Also, this story is, as usual, the result of a prompt given to me on tumblr, specifically "Kanaya and one of Gamzee’s clubs." Originally when I started doing this I expected to be giving crazy ships and then do crazy shit with them, but my modus now seems to be going halvesies between that, and between taking craziness and playing it completely straight.
> 
> If you would like to suggest a crack pairing or crossover, go send me an ask or fanmail on my tumblr: http://pantslesswrock.tumblr.com/
> 
> Note on crossovers: If I don't know the crossover you're asking me to do, I will either decline or twist it into a way I can use it, so keep that in mind.
> 
> Lastly, I'm aware that the club's text looks an awful lot like John's, but I was using the exact colour of Gamzee's blue club from one of the canon panels. Now, that colour may or may not be John's colour, I'm too lazy to check.


End file.
